


Until They Do: Deleted Scenes and Chapters

by maladaptivewaking



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Banter, Canon Divergence, Cece is alive, Character Study, F/M, Fluff, Gossip Girl - Freeform, Lily and Rufus are still together, Wedding, frenemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28841049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maladaptivewaking/pseuds/maladaptivewaking
Summary: From the finished Dair fanfiction, "Until They Do", here are some deleted scenes and chapters that didn't make it into the story.
Relationships: Chuck Bass/Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey & Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey/Serena van der Woodsen/Blair Waldorf
Comments: 17
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These are some chapters and scenes from “Until They Do” that would’ve been chronologically sprinkled throughout the story. They were cut either because they were way too long, too short, too far from canon, or because they didn’t exactly follow the narrative I was trying to tell. I just had to publish them though, because I absolutely love my readers, and there’s not enough season three Dan and Blair action in Until They Do.  
> Thank you to everyone who is reading or has read Until They Do. It warms my heart to see this ship still has such a kind and dedicated following, a following that is willing to give Dan and Blair not only the happy ending they deserved, but several different lives where they were always meant to be.  
> Enjoy!

**September, 2009**

Blair sat against the window of her dorm room, letting the last wisps of summer breeze blow through her room. Once again, she was alone in the heart of NYU because she couldn’t abandon her “old catty ways” as Dan had so fondly put it.

“Knock, knock.”

Blair turned to see Humphrey, the very reason for her demise, leaning against her door frame. She should’ve locked that.

“Get out.”

“Just,” Dan bowed his head like he was the embarrassed one. “Can you at least let me apologize?”

“You apologize to ‘back-stabbing, selfish, she-demons?”

“Those weren’t my exact words.”

“They might as well have been. No one’s ever going to talk to me again!”

“Well, what did you expect? You’re trying to get accessories not friends.”

“I’m sure you already knew this, but that’s not the way things work on my side of town.”

“Neither of us are there anymore are we?”

Blair could feel herself deflating. He had a point, although she hated that fact. “I don’t belong here.”

“That’s bullshit, to be blunt. You’re Blair Waldorf, you can belong anywhere you want.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Blair hugged her knees to her chest, “I’ve been in this bubble for so long that I don’t even know how to interact with people out of it.”

“You interact with me just fine, even if it is in a rude and hateful sort of way.”

“We’re hardly friends.”

“Yeah, so imagine what you can do with people here who actually have things in common with you. The conversation would just flow.” Dan began to back away, “There’s a screening of classic French cinema soon in the common area. I don’t if that’s your thing but it might be a good chance to meet people, the right way.”

Blair fought a short smile and threw a pillow in his direction. “ _Bye_ Humphrey.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Bye Waldorf.”


	2. Chapter 2

**November, 2009**

Dan shifted uncomfortably against the hard side of a leather chair. You would think, with all their money and donors, the best hospital in Manhattan could pay for better waiting room seating. 

His mind was running a mile a minute, replacing thoughts of concern for Serena, with useless trivia and petty griping. It would’ve been the right thing to do to worry about his new stepsister being in a car accident. But with all of his anxiety and Vanessa drama, Dan wasn’t sure if he was the “right thing” type of guy anymore. This probably didn’t matter. People weren’t always interested in that moral compass schtick anyway.

Blair, looking as she always did (enraged and slightly disappointed), burst forth from the double doors that led deeper into the emergency room. A burly nurse tried to usher her forward, however, he looked almost scared to do so. He was doing it from such a far distance.

“Only relatives are allowed at this time.”

Blair crossed her arms like she was about to demand to speak to the nurse’s manager. She didn’t, to Dan’s surprise.

“She’s basically my sister. We’ve taken _baths_ together.”

Dan almost snorted. He wondered if that was what blocked the validity of his presence into their little circle of friends. Perhaps they all hadn't taken enough baths together. Jesus.

“Miss, you are welcome to wait here, but visiting hours are over.” The nurse promptly walked away.

“This city’s gone to shit under Bloomberg!” Blair called after him. Dan chuckled, twiddling his thumbs. It was an unnecessary and maybe truthful comment. Kind of like Blair.

She slumped down into the chair across from his, wriggled around for a few minutes, and then shed her coat to create a make-shift cushion. It was almost impressive how fast she had jumped up to go to Serena, like it was a routine of some kind. She hadn’t bothered to make herself into “Blair Waldorf” with her red lipstick and too-tall, how the hell are you walking (?), high heels. Instead, she wore simple flannel pajamas, lined with pink satin, and furry, amusingly large, slippers. Dan thought, under the cold fluorescent lights, she looked a bit like an escaped patient from the psych ward the way her waves puffed up around her. He didn’t dare voice that opinion. It was not for the sake of sparing her feelings, she had never done that for him, it just wasn’t the time. 

“Sh-she’ll be okay.” Dan stammered. He was never sure what to say in these situations. Part of him wanted to laugh, another part of him wanted to throw the screaming toddler behind him out of a window, a smaller part of him wanted to bury his head in hands and hope he wouldn’t have to tell his family that their beloved Serena had died or been paralyzed.

“I know that,” Blair said quickly, folding her hands. “She always ends up okay.”

Serena always ended up something, but Dan wasn’t sure that “something” could be defined as “okay”.

They were quiet for a moment, letting the orchestra of phones ringing, and pagers beeping, and babies crying, play for a while.

“You’re her stepbrother, Humphrey. Why don’t you stop sitting around and get in there?”

“I tried. They’re…” Dan shifted once more. He could almost feel the bones in his ass break. “I think they’re doing surgery. She was pretty messed up and it’ll take a few hours...”

“Surgery.” Blair repeated, in a staccato fashion--sharp and crisp. Her face showed no emotion but her neck, usually a pale pinkish-white, was now strained and red.

Dan leaned forward, and pinched the bridge of his nose as his brain suddenly reminded him that he had classes at 8 AM the next day. 

“Yeah.”

Blair reclined in her chair, eying the still-screaming child in the other corner, by the vending machine.

“Leave it to New York City to have the busiest and loudest emergency rooms on planet earth.”

She said it with no malice or resentment in her voice. There was more of a kindness there; maybe nostalgia. Or, maybe Dan was just tired.

“These are peak getting-drunk-and-stepping-in-front-of-the-train hours,” Dan muttered, softly chuckling at his own dark joke. 

For some reason, Blair chuckled too. She leaned back in her chair, and asked coolly, “Where’s Hippie Barbie?”

Oh, for a moment she was just about to be human. “ _Vanessa_ , couldn’t wait here all night. She’s got a project and a paper due.” The real reason, Dan suspected, was that she couldn’t take his incessant rambling and nervous knee bouncing as a reaction for Serena’s accident. He wasn’t sure if she wanted him to be stoic and dead-in-the-eyes in the face of this new cluster fuck, but she sure didn’t like that he was so bothered.

“We _all_ have papers and projects due. Why do you think I’ve been texting that girl who lives across from me all night? She’s typing up my Womens’ Studies thesis as we speak.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Not all of us are so ‘resourceful’. Some of us like to do our _own_ work.”

“I am…” Blair said distractedly, as she tapped away into her phone.

“Where’s Chuck? Isn’t he your emotional support business mogul?”

She looked up, the phone gripped loosely in her hand, which draped across her knee. “Not that you matter enough to know...but he’s dealing with some family issues.”

“Isn’t he always…?” Dan laughed. "Doesn't mean he can't be there for you."

Clasping her lips together, somehow supple and moisturized in the midst of the late night, Blair narrowed her eyes. “He has so much on his plate you would never understand.”

“Do go on. I’m sure it’ll make me melt for him.” Dan didn’t actually care, he only wanted to fill the space between them.

“So you can write another mediocre story about him? Dream on.”

Dan rested his his chin on the back of his hand.

“I’m just saying, Batman’s origin story doesn’t excuse him putting on a dark onesie, beating up unsuspecting minorities, and destroying the city.”

Blair frowned, although the left corner of her mouth lifted gently, like he had made a compelling argument she was too smart, and too clever, to ignore. 

“You are so many shades of deranged Humphrey. I could write a book about it, but I’m sure you’ll do that yourself.”

Dan hung his head. “I aim to please.”

Blair’s well-controlled and subtle nervousness grew, and she shot up, pacing the linoleum floors.

“Where the hell is everyone?! We are the last people on Earth who should be alone together for this situation.”

Dan could only watch her walk around in circles. “Um, Eric and Jenny are on their way. Lily and my dad were here but they went home to get extra clothes and Nate ended up going with them so he could get some of Serena’s stuff for when she wakes up.”

“I’m…” Blair covered her eyes with her hands, the front strands of her hair tumbling out of it’s loose ponytail. “...spiraling.”

Remaining silent, Dan nodded knowingly. “We should get out of here.”

“Pardon me?”

“It says more about you that your mind went there than it does about me.” Dan rose, “I just meant we should go back to the dorms or at least get something to eat.”

“We can’t just leave Serena alone!”

“It won’t do her much good if we’re just sitting here, grumpy and starved, for the next few hours.”

“I’m not starved.”

“Well _I_ am.” Dan grabbed his coat and swung it on, walking through the sliding doors. He didn’t wait for Blair to follow, and yet, she did.

“I loathe those chairs...and misbehaving children,” she mumbled, clutching her bag to her side.

***

Blair had never liked misbehaved children. However, she had been drawn to them growing up. They filled the empty places that had been drilled in her, the parts that sat up straight and stayed silent in the face of conflict, never uttering a rude word. She remembered fondly that’s how she had met Serena; an interruption in her daily routine of tight-lipped politeness.

Blair and her family had been at a some debutante ball, she couldn’t remember what it was she was so enamored with, when she saw five-year-old Serena making a fuss over getting an orange soda. Her golden hair had obviously been ripped from it’s poised up-do, and she was stomping her feet and jumping up and down like her life depended on getting that drink. Blair had never been so embarrassed and enraptured at the same time. Serena, for as long as Blair had known her, could just scream and whip her head about like she was owed the world. And although Blair was made to feel the same way in her bubble of money and glamor, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t. It was something she envied in Serena; the carefree attitude and sunny disposition that alluded her, but Blair supposed this was the same thing that got her into bad deals and dire consequences; the newest one being a fucking car accident. Although she loved Serena, carrying a morbid fascination for her as everyone did, Blair just couldn’t be like her. Someone had to stay behind and clean up after the party, repair the damages, and stay silent in hopes of observation.

“Puffs or regular?”

Blair inhaled, returning from space. She glanced at the bags of Cheetos Dan was holding and sighed, a snarl coming to her lips.

“Ugh, neither.”

“Puffs it is.” Dan threw the bag into the shopping cart and continued down the aisle, whistling as he did so.

The weird, the downright abstract, quality of her being stuck in a grocery store with Dan Humphrey had not been lost on Blair. They were always together by circumstance rather than choice, and Blair was starting to wonder if it was karma that was pushing her, involuntarily, into a crowded smelly metaphorical elevator, with Humphrey.

Thank God he hadn’t taken her to a bodega. It wasn’t Saturday night, and she wasn’t drunk, so Blair was glad to skip out on that experience. Still, she felt ridiculous, being in a fairly high-end market in her pajamas, and slippers, and oversized wool coat. No one seemed to notice. Good ol’ New York; city of strangers and strangeness.

As they meandered about the aisles, not on the hunt for anything in particular, Blair sucked on a rather large lollipop. It had been labeled “cherry poison” and it was too tempting to pass up. Plus, it was on Dan.

“I haven’t been to a grocery store in so long. The music is different.”

Dan smiled, as if this was some cute revelation (gross) and looked up at the speakers that played out some random Natasha Beddingfield song. “I like it. Feel the rain on your skin…no one else can feel it for you…”

Holding her lollipop between her teeth with one hand, Blair hit Dan lightly with the other. “Don’t sing. You’ll embarrass yourself.”

Dan continued to shimmy his shoulders and rolled the cart forward. “Okay, Ebenezer Scrooge.”

“Huh?”

“All you're missing in this outfit is a nightcap, melting candle, and the heir of self-important. Wait, scratch that last part.”

Blair pulled her coat tighter around her. “It isn’t my fault you pulled me--”

“Pulled…? I knocked on your door--”

“You pulled me from my slumber…”

“ _Slumber_ ? You _are_ Ebenezer Scrooge…!”

“...I had no time to change! And I would shut up right now if I were you. My pajamas beat your...whatever it is that you’re wearing, any day.”

“I’m literally just wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket Blair.”

“It’s actually called an ‘eye-sore’.”

Dan laughed, shaking his head. “The day you lighten up will be the day birds songs will have meaning and God will kiss the sky--”

“The day I lighten up will be the day the Earth stops spinning.”

“Sure.”

“Someone needs to have their head on straight.”

“And that someone is you?”

“Yes. Obviously.”

“Whatever you say Blair…”

"Good. It _is_ whatever I say."

The pair continued to walk along, making casual, if not angry, small talk. Blair had never been very good at chit chat; the kind in which you don’t care what’s being said, you just need to take up deafening silence. As they went through aisles of cereals and junk food Blair didn’t even know existed, she ran her fingers over the shelves, letting her palms graze against the cold metal.

“Don’t mistake this for me giving a single shit about your life, but did you ever clear up that hilarious kerfuffle with Vanessa? I’d love to know what’s ensued in the saga of that fateful threesome.”

Dan looked back at her with a frown, no doubt annoyed at how funny she found his chagrin, and leaned further onto the cart that he rolled forward. 

“I don’t know. We’re trying to get back to being friends, but it’s weird.”

Blair feigned shock, gasping, and put a hand on her cheek. “ _No_!”

“How was I to know the intricate rules adhering to the wondrous world of group sex? I’m just a vanilla guy trying to--”

“Have sex with multiple women at the same time?”

Suddenly seeming interested in examining the orange in his hand, Dan sighed. “I guess so. Trust me, I already find myself disgusting enough without you having to tell me.”

“Honestly, I’m kind of impressed,” Blair admitted, taking the orange from Dan and peeling it. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Right. I forgot I’m talking to the queen of kinks.”

A slice of orange hanging from her mouth, Blair could feel her face grow hot and her eyes grow wide.

Dan shrugged. “Chuck talks to Nate, and Nate and I text. Also, I’m sure you remember our senior year.”

“Do not think for one second that you have any knowledge of my sex life, Humphrey!” Blair hissed, wagging a finger in his direction.

He put up his hands in defense. “Hey, I’m not happy about it either Waldorf. You think I _wanted_ to talk about your creepy games with Chuck? There are few times I’ve wished to be deaf and…”

“I wouldn’t ever expect you to understand, but we like to keep things spontaneous. Life isn’t all about holding hands and discussing our favorite Quentin Tarantino movies.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m boring in bed?”

Blair tilted her head, relishing Dan’s butt-hurt pout. “I’m not, _not_ suggesting that. Serena and I ‘text’ too.”

“That’s a violation!”

“You started it.” Blair chirped, brandishing a banana, and pointing it at Dan like a gun.

They continued out of the produce aisle and into the wine section, mulling over cheap, British box wines. Maybe Serena would want a drink when she woke up. And she wouldn’t ever object to wine over-saturated with alcohol.

“So you really like all that headache?”

Blair was reading the label on one of the boxes. “What do you mean?”

“The cheating fantasy and all the other schemes. Is that what does it for you?”

“Are you planning to seduce me?” Blair huffed, putting a hand on her hip. “I suppose it keeps things interesting. We don’t want to end up boring.”

“Ah, so you make life one, big kinky game show. And everyone is just supposed to play along. Nice.” He sounded genuinely unimpressed. Not that Blair cared what Dan Humphrey thought.

“It’s better than the run of the mill relationship. We have…” Blair’s sentence trailed off. She almost said the word “fun” but that didn’t really describe what was between her and Chuck. She didn’t really know how to describe what was between her and Chuck. “Fun”, “passion”, even “love” all seemed too silly and far away. It was deeper than that, more twisted and a little dark. 

“A boring relationship sounds kind of nice right now,” Dan murmured, not driving the conversation in any direction, just saying what he needed to matter-of-factly.

“Is there any pleasure in boring?”

“Sure there is. Serena and I weren’t exchanging rhetoric like Plato and Socrates, or playing psychotic games like, well you, but we had fun.”

“And fun means…?”

He smirked, his teeth peeking out from his pink lips. “Exactly what you think it means.”

“So oral?”

The cart came to a halt and Dan stared at Blair’s face, with rosy cheeks. He was downright scandalized. “ _Blair_.”

“What? There’s hardly anyone around. You’re such a pillowcase.”

“Did she talk about...that sort of thing...with you?”

“On occasion,” Blair glanced over her shoulder at eager Humphrey. She decided she would throw him a bone, because she was exhausted, and couldn’t lie as well exhausted. “Five stars.”

He fist pumped, which nearly made Blair laugh out loud. “I knew it.”

“I fear I’ve given you an ego.”

“Yes, you have. I’ll never be the same again.”

“Don’t get cocky. Serena’s tastes are just _very_ simple. She likes the one-two method for god sake.”

“The one-two method?”

This time, Blair cackled. “You don’t know the one-two method? The most basic of all methods?”

“Enlighten me.”

Blair pursed her lips. This could very well be the last time she ever talked to Dan, so what the hell. Taking the half eaten orange in her hand, she began to point out different areas of the vagina. 

“Pay attention, I so rarely share my expertise. Now, first you start here and work on it for a while...then you travel down here and swirl around. Then, after a bit of writhing around, you go back and forth and then you stay on two, intensely.”

Expecting him to be shaky and laughing like a maniac, Blair was to taken aback as Dan casually scratched his chin like some professor of sex.

“Here’s my usual routine. Although every flower is unique--”

“ _Ew_.”

Dan smiled and stuck his own fingers in the orange. “So, I start similarly but then I move down here, then I get really fast, and then very slow. I never go in circles, just up and down, and then, I just keep at it up here. You’ve gotta be rude to it. Then I launch a surprise attack, and then boom. Doomsday.”

Blair felt a line of sweat materialize on her brow. She swallowed. It wasn’t exactly a terrible system. “Leave it to you to compare an orgasm to nuclear war.”

“Can it be described any other way?”

Things were becoming too friendly. “I can’t believe _you’re_ considered a stud in some people’s eyes. I bet your version of foreplay is asking if the girl is okay.”

“Yeah, sometimes,” Dan stopped the cart in front of the café at the front of the store, just by the cash registers. “Excuse me if this is a stretch, but I firmly believe that sex shouldn’t feel like a punishment. It should just feel _good_ and safe. Like you can be yourself and be accepted totally and wholly in the moment.”

Once she realized she had been looking directly into Dan’s eyes and him directly into hers, Blair gazed at her shoes and bit her lip. “The bdsm community will disagree with you profoundly.”

He grinned. “Well, as long as they’re getting consent and having a fun time they’re aces in my book.”

Blair giggled, an action she vowed not to do in the presence of men she didn’t actually like, and felt her phone buzz in her pocket. It was a text from Chuck asking where she was.

“We should go. Everyone’s back at the hospital. Serena’s gotten out of surgery.”

Nodding, Dan made his way to the cashier and began to pay for his copious amounts of unnecessary snacks. He was now quiet and pale for some reason. They traveled to the sidewalk into the chilled autumn air. The sky was dark and cloudy.

“You look like a ghost right now,” Blair quipped, crossing her arms. “Out of, quite possibly everyone, I thought you would be the most upset.”

“Why?” Dan managed.

“Because you get upset over everything.” Blair stressed. “Either that or you judge every miniscule part of the girl you’re half in love with. Look alive Dan, Serena could’ve died, and you’re worried about awkward threesomes and Vanessa Abrams!”

“It’s better than exacting what I actually feel right now.”

Blair pushed him softly. “And what is that?”

“I’m pissed, okay? Doesn’t it bother you that she is _always_ in trouble and we are always the ones who have to swoop in and fix it? And we always will, because losing her would be like a stab in the chest. How is that healthy? How is that fair.”

It wasn't. And it did bother Blair, more than anything. But she had been living in this routine longer than the rest, and had, consequently, learned how to take it with the good, the golden good, of Serena Van der Woodsen.

“That’s the price we pay to love Serena. That’s the price you pay to love anyone.” Not knowing why, tears began to well in Blair’s eyes. She wiped them away quickly before Dan could see.

Dan’s shoulders dropped, and he swallowed hard. “I guess I’m just tired of the fee.”

Handing her the bag of food, Dan gave Blair a small squeeze on the shoulder. It wasn’t enough to make her seethe with anger, just enough to comfort her.

“I’ll come visit in the morning.”

Dan walked in the other direction, his hands in his pockets, and the collar of his coat turned up.

Blair stared after him until her phone rang. It was Chuck again.

“I need you.”

“Okay, I was just getting food, I’m walking towards the hospital now.”

He hung up and Blair sighed, shouldering the bag. 

She was starting to get tired of the fee too.


	3. Chapter 3

**May, 2010**

“Push, Dorota!”

“What is wrong with you, Humphrey! Don’t tell her to push! We’re still in the car!”

Dorota clung to Blair as if she was the last lifeboat on a sinking ship, a sentiment Dan never thought he would put towards any Waldorf.

The driver gripped the steering wheel uncomfortably. “Please hold on, we’ll be at the hospital soon.”

“Ahhh! Hurry Gary!” Dorota bleated, scrunching and contorting her face as she let out sharp breaths.

“Alright Dorota don’t push! Suck it back in!”

“AGH!”

Blair turned. “You’re _not helping_ Humphrey !”

Dan, never having been in this situation before, thought it best to turn on the radio. Instead of something soothing or perhaps classical, some awful rock song blared through the speakers. He dialed it down, anxiously bouncing his knee.

“Hey, Gary, do you think we can go any faster?”

Gary gave Dan the stink eye and motioned out to the lines of other cars ahead of them. “I would love to, Mr. Humphrey, but as you can see, we’re stuck in some monster traffic.”

Dan sunk back into his seat, defeated. “I knew we should’ve taken the subway.”

“What was that sewer rat?” Blair asked sharply, glaring at him in the rearview mirror. “I _know_ you are not blaming this situation on me right now.”

“Your fear of America's best and fastest transportation system could very well be the reason Dorota will have a baby on the side of the road.”

Dorota winced and squeezed Blair’s hand tighter. “Shut up! Both of you!”

“Seriously, get a room…” Gary mumbled.

“Gross!” Dan and Blair yelled in unison.

“Just so you know, after this, I never want to your stupid face again!”

“Ditto, Waldorf! Ditto! We’ve seen way too much of each other this year.”

“Finally, something we agree on.”

Dorota let forth another pained grunt. Her face had turned a bright red and her veins seemed to be popping out of her forehead.

“With all due respect, Mr. Lonely Boy and Ms. Blair, if you don’t stop fighting I will have this baby right here all over the both of you!”

Gary shook his head. The man looked like he wanted to cry. “Please don’t.”

“You can just call me Dan, Dorota. I’m pretty sure you’re not on the clock right now.” He checked the time on the radio and then checked his watch to be sure of something.

“Her contractions are like three minutes apart.”

Blair, stroking Dorota’s hair, rolled her eyes. “Wow. He can tell time ladies and gentlemen.”

“That means the baby is well on it’s way, Blair!”

“WHAT?!”

Crying, in guttural sobs, Dorota leaned her head back, and spread her legs. “Check to see if the head is out!"”

Dan shielded his eyes and began to tap 911 into his cellphone. “I’m just gonna call an ambulance.”

“You must check Blair!” Dorota hissed, pulling her closer.

Reluctantly, Blair removed her jacket and gloves, as Dorota positioned herself horizontally in the car. “Alright. This is happening...I... will....not...vomit.”

“Yeah, don’t do that,” Dan said, texting Vanya.

“Oh God! I see it’s head! Ew, ew, ew…”

Gary made an illegal U turn and whipped down a back street, pulling over. “It’s better we don’t stay in the middle of traffic. The ambulance needs to find us.”

“Okay, Dorota, I think you have to push…?”

“No, no, no, I can’t! This wasn’t the plan!”

Gary tossed Blair some hand sanitizer and a towel from the glove box. “I don’t think you have a choice, hon’.”

Blair, worriedly rubbing hand sanitizer all over her hands and up her arms, nodded. “I’ve watched plenty of Planet Earth to know what I’m doing.” She was more convincing herself than anyone else.

Tears streaming down her face, Dorota gripped onto the back of Gary’s seat. “I’m scared!”

Dan put down his phone and glanced at Gary. The man had nothing to offer, he was just as bamboozled at the rest of them. Sighing, Dan came out of the car and opened the door Dorota leaned against and supported her with his chest, holding her hand.

“Lots of women have done this with much worse conditions than we have. You can do this Dorota. We believe in you.”

Dan looked at Blair, her brown eyes glistening and wild. He tried to give his best reassuring smile and she nodded, peering back under Dorota’s skirt. In the distance, sirens sounded.

“Push!”

As Dorota pushed, Dan could feel every bone in his hand quite possibly break. Blair screamed along with her maid, like a banshee, and helped her along.

The ambulance pulled up to the curb and the paramedics took over from there. Vanya followed not long after and the couple and their new born baby were rushed to the hospital to be cared for. Blair, after having wiped her hands, stood hugging herself on the sidewalk as wind whipped her chestnut hair and her dress around. Her arms, freckled with goosebumps, were a light red. Dan walked over and handed her her green coat.

“We just delivered a baby.”

“Correction, _I_ delivered a baby,” Blair said, smirking up at him as she pulled the coat over her body.

Dan laughed and rocked back on his heels. “Whoever said we’re ‘born alone’ was a liar. That kid will never go without friends.”

“Oh, yeah. She’ll never hear the end of this. We’re bonded for life.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds too long and Dan cleared his throat. “Maybe we shouldn’t--”

“Yeah, let’s never mention this again.”

Another promise made.


	4. Chapter 4

**December, 2011**

Standing on the steps of the Met, in the frigid air, Dan felt he was being transported back to high school. He was fairly certain that at any moment some prep school girl in a too-tight headband and a blazer would come rushing up to him and start bullying him on the basis of his hair or his outfit. 

Dan checked his phone for what seemed the millionth time and then pocketed it, frustrated. He wasn’t going to stoop low enough to call the girl who had stood him up, probably for a scheme, or Chuck, or honestly, an intriguing fashion magazine. For a moment, one fleeting moment, he considered going into the exhibit alone, brochure in hand and turtle-neck fitting snug on his neck. But the thought turned sour as he saw an entire life of being that introspective, sad, old man who goes to art museums alone, laid out before him. He preferred to be by himself in private.

So he started to go home, defeated and all together disappointed, but not enough to name the emotion. Then his phone rang.

“Yeah?” A puff of air escaped from his mouth.

“You don’t seem like you’re in the holiday spirit!” Serena’s buttery voice giggled at him. He missed her just like he missed having something to do.

“Hi.” Dan tried to sound like he didn’t have a permanent frown fixed to his face. “I’m glad you called. How’s that road trip going?”

A pained mystery came into her tone. Something about her words started to wander around a secret she wasn’t telling him. Classic Serena.

“Good...you really should’ve come.”

“I know, I know, but I’m focusing on my writing right now.”

“All work and no play!” He could hear her pouting and smiling at the same time.

“I guess so.”

Serena sighed. “I need you to do me a huge favor.”

“Sure!” Dan mentally kicked himself. He was still in that same role of “lap dog number one”.

“I don’t know if you guys have seen much of each other, but Blair got her wisdom teeth out this morning. She’s miserable, and alone, so I was thinking you could drop by and help her out.”

“Wisdom teeth…?” So that was the reason for him being stood up. Dan wondered why Blair hadn’t just told him she had a pending surgery that day. 

“I don’t know if my presence would make her feel any better.”

“She just needs someone to keep an eye on her. She’s all loopy. I would come back, but I’m busy so…”

“Okay. I can drop by.” Another mental kick in the shin would suffice.

“Great! Thanks Dan, I owe you one.”

***

Feeling she could hear colors and exact the truth from herself and everything, was not the way Blair had wanted to spend the night before Christmas Eve. She didn’t know why she just had to schedule her surgery in the midst of the holiday break. Maybe it was in anticipation of being bored and alone. Her residue anesthetic would surely keep her company.

But all it was doing was making her feel like a bobble head on a toothpick body. And the blood oozing from the corners of her mouth wasn’t helping the dizziness at all. Curled up in blankets and ripped gauze, Blair’s soul nearly left her body when a ding came through on the elevator. Below, she could hear exasperated voices murmur to one another and then the elevator ding again. Great, she would be murdered in her own home, looking like bloody chipmunk.

“Hello?” It was Dan’s voice, quiet and nervous as usual.

Blair didn’t move an inch. “Why are you in my house? Where’s Dorota?”

She could hear him starting to climb the stairs. 

“She just left. Apparently, she has a chicken at home that needs her attention and she’s worked ‘enough overtime’.”

“The other question remains unanswered!”

He was at the door now, softly knocking as means to come in. Blair threw her comforter over her head. It was better to be a ghost than whatever ghastly thing she actually looked like.

“Serena asked me to check on you,” upon walking into Blair’s room, he laughed. “Why didn’t you just ask for a rain check? I would’ve understood.”

“Um…” Blair mumbled beneath her covers, “Because I don’t respect you enough to do so.”

A weight settled itself onto the farthest side of the bed. “Lucky for me, I can’t hear all those insults with all the gauze in your mouth.”

Blair groaned.

Dan tugged at her blankets. “Come on, Waldorf. It’s just me.”

Slowly, Blair unfurled herself from her alcove of pillows and sheets, and revealed her face. Her cheeks felt huge and she could taste something close to pennies.

Only smiling, Dan shed his coat. “Can I...get you anything?”

Talking had become too hard. The painkillers were starting to wear off. Blair just nodded vigorously as blood bubbled in the corners of her mouth. She wanted to cry, or die of shame.

“You have pain killers?”

More vigorous nodding. She pointed to her bathroom.

Dan took a handkerchief from his pocket, like the old man he was, and wiped away the blood before handing it to Blair for her personal use. 

“How about some ice cream? Dorota went shopping.”

Blair nodded for the last time and Dan left for a while. When he came back he had a tray of liquid-y foods and water to drink down her meds.

***

As Blair carefully ate her food, Dan stood idly in different areas of her bedroom. She had added about twenty more movie posters since he had last been there, and he found it a little funny that he had seen so much of Blair Waldorf’s room. Perhaps more than anyone. 

Kneeling before a shelf of DVDs, Dan pulled out “Roman Holiday”. He turned it over. There were hearts drawn around Gregory Peck’s face with red sharpie. He laughed lightly. He couldn’t imagine Blair having a celebrity crush.

“Mmph!” Blair mumbled excitedly, motioning in the general direction of the television.

Dan rose and got the message. He slid the disc into the DVD player and started the movie up. 

“You know, I’ve never seen this whole thing. It’s probably the only Audrey Hepburn movie I’ve missed out on.”

“...My favorite.” Blair managed.

Eying her bed, Dan watched as Blair shifted over so he could sit. In normal circumstances she would demand his seat be the floor, but he guessed having some teeth pulled would make you nicer. Carefully, he sank in next to her, leaving a few inches of space between them. He felt like a teenager again the way a side of his body was hanging off the edge. It felt funny, but light-hearted, and Dan remembered that he had never had that specific reaction with a girl before. After his and Serena’s first kiss, the sweaty palms, and shaky hands that come with watching a movie with someone had never occurred. Usually, it was clumsy make-out sessions for them, and “dates” didn’t involve much talking or listening.

At one point, Dan thought Blair would throw up when she threw the top of her body off the bed and leaned over her nightstand. To his pleasant surprise, she pulled out a small, square package. It was brown, not like the other shiny and glittery presents that were sprinkled around the tree downstairs. Dan tapped his chest, asking if it was for him. Blair rolled her eyes and nodded. Dan turned the gift over a few times. He couldn’t believe Blair would ever get him a gift. Carefully, he ripped away the paper. It was sandy and rough and what emerged from it was a first edition copy of The Great Gatsby, which must've cost her a small fortune, with a few extra notebook pages in the back.

Dan grinned. “Is this the Great Gatsby fanfiction you vowed never to show anyone?”

Blair shrugged and nudged him on the shoulder as if to say, “don’t mention it.”

Reaching into his bag, and laughing like a little kid, Dan pulled out his gift to her. He had decided not to give it to her, they weren't those types of friends, but Blair had proved him wrong.

She opened the folder he handed her and flipped through the pages, raising her eyebrows questioningly.

“It’s not much, just a new story. You were right, it’s been too long since I’ve written anything. And trust me, it isn’t about Serena or anyone for that matter. It’s just...a story.”

Blair smiled, running her fingers of the words gently.

“This is the longest you’ve gone without yelling at me. It’s nice, but alarming…”

“It’s good...Dan…” Blair murmured, settling back into her pillows.

They continued watching Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn’s whirlwind romance.

It was about halfway through the movie, just when Ann got a new haircut, when Blair’s mouth started bleeding through the gauze again. Dan sprang into action and grabbed some fresh gauze. In most aspects of life he hated blood with a burning passion, but for some reason, he was acting as the surgeon general, cleaning the area and replacing the damp, bloody gauze with new pads. He lifted Blair’s chin gently and picked out the cloth, dropping it into the trash bin. Blair looked downright horrified, but Dan supposed she found it better than doing it herself.

She was weeping through the whole thing. It was a rare sight, yet sort of endearing and sweet. He wanted to take care of Blair; be there for her. Dan wasn’t sure what that meant.

“I’m so ugly,” she sobbed, tears rolling down her round cheeks.

Dan wiped his hands, and climbed back into the bed, awkwardly. “No...you’re not ugly. You just had a surgery.”

“And it made me ugly!” She flung her hands in the air and threw them down, exhausted.

He couldn’t tell her how beautiful he thought she was with dried blood on her face and her hair in a mangled, loose, braid. That would’ve just been creepy and unhelpful.

Instead, Dan scooted closer to Blair and let her lean into his chest, moistening his button down. He put a quite frightened arm around her and held her until the movie ended. And when it did, he realized she was asleep. So Dan did the one thing he could do, and turned off the light, staying there and still. He let his arm get numb as passing cars, street lights, and falling snow made shadows dance around the room.

Dan would never be as confused and as elated as when Blair was snuggled into him, twitching her nose as if she didn’t like a particular dream she was having, and melting into a smile when it seemed she had changed it.


	5. Chapter 5

**January 2011**

“Keep going.”

Blair watched, disgusted, as a cashier smothered Dan’s popcorn in butter and his nachos in cheese. 

“You are a  _ troll person _ .”

He turned over his shoulder and glared at her. “I didn’t get to eat anything at that stupid party.”

Chewing on her straw, stained with a crimson ring, Blair watched as Dan paid for his food and they headed towards their seats. They were somewhere in the heart of Williamsburg, regrettably, on Blair’s part, and they had just escaped a party in the Upper East Side. Blair usually loved society galas and balls, for it’s gossip and surprise scandals of course, but this one had been overly boring and mundane filled with financial talk and old money crones. When Dan invited her to run off and catch a special screening of The Artist, she groaned and moaned complaints, but ultimately went with him. None of their friends seemed to notice their stealthy escapades, except for Eric who had been giving them stink eyes all night. It was fine. He was never one to share secrets and this wasn’t a particularly juicy one. Dan, her friend Dan, not “Serena’s Dan” or “indifferent enemy Dan”, was something Blair wanted to be hidden for a while.

It didn’t seem to bother anyone in the theater much that they were over-dressed, one of them being in a tuxedo and the other in a glittery gown, but the city was its own dimension and stranger things had certainly happened.

Somehow forgetting their “two seats between” rule they plopped down in front of the screen just as the movie started. The theater was fairly occupied but empty in the highest seats towards the back where they were. As the movie’s score swelled through the speakers, the light dimmed, and the room cooled. Blair felt good, comfortable too. Without the solemn, disagreeable attitude she was always holding up with Dan in the presence of others she felt solid and grounded. The jittery, shaky and anxious reservations had left her body for some reason. She was just a girl watching a movie with a friend. Blair kicked off her heels.

“You think I’m a Peppy?”

Dan’s mouth was stuffed to the brim with popcorn. “Elaborate.”

“Am I the ‘up and coming ingenue’ in my story or the’ scorned wife’?”

***

Dan examined Blair’s face for a moment, framed with brown curls that had been released from their ridiculously high bun. He had seen her in probably every facet of life at that point; crying, laughing, quite literally bleeding from the mouth, and hating him like no one had hated him before. 

“God, it was just a question, Humphrey. Forget it.”

Dan realized he was staring. “Now, wait a minute, I’m calculating.”

“I always knew you were an unfeeling, cold robot.”

“That’s you Waldorf…” Dan chuckled. “First of all, I don’t think women should be defined in merely two typecasts--”

“We get it. You’re a feminist…”

“Let me finish! I don’t think you’re either. You’re not just some muse or damaged woman. You’re complex, and deep, and independent. If you should be cast as any girl it should be the girls guys run to...and sometimes run away from if you’re named Dan Humphrey.”

Blair flicked a piece of popcorn his way. “It’s like you always have prepared speeches to comfort girls.”

“Yeah, and they only seem to come out with you. Take your happy pills Ms. Waldorf.”

“Only if you take yours…”


	6. Chapter 6

**January, 2012**

(Content Warning: Mentions of ED and Depression)

Blair laid on the cold tile of the pantry floor. She was on her stomach, her cheek pressed to the dusty surface and not much minding it. She didn’t mind anything at all these days. Blair feared that was the depression, having seeped it’s way back into her bones after the car crash. Depression and her were old acquaintances, past rivals perhaps, and with it always came the compulsive need for control. It was like she had been whisked away into a tornado, with Chuck and Louis and all the baby-daddy drama she thought would suit Serena better than her, and that tornado had spit her out, leaving Blair broken and exhausted.

She turned on her side, still folded into fetal position, and hugged the bag of Cheetos close to her chest. She considered inhaling the entire bag, so she could get rid of it into the toilet later, but she had been laying there so long she suspected they had gone stale, like she had. Blair shut her watery eye as the staff, Dorota mostly, knocked gently at the door. She could hear the concerned murmurs too, the light chatter of people who didn’t, in a million years, to see Blair Waldorf fall so far off the edge she would lock herself in a pantry out of guilt and to just be in the dark 10 x 12 space for a moment. Perhaps it would be more than a moment, perhaps it would be forever. That was what she thought she deserved.

***

Dan burst out of the elevator and rushed to the kitchen where Dorota stood, a hand against the pantry door. The maid looked tearful, like she was holding in loud sobs. Putting a hand on her shoulder, Dan caught his breath. He had ran right over when Dorota texted him that she couldn’t find Blair. Now, as he understood it, she had locked herself away with the one other thing she had had a toxic relationship with. Food.

“I didn’t know what to do. She put something against the door, and I can’t move it.”

“Shit,” Dan pinched the bridge of his nose. He was supposed to be distancing himself from Blair since he had helped her be with Chuck. He thought that was what she wanted, but after the crash everything seemed to change. Blair wasn’t talking to anyone, and got into screaming matches with whoever came close.

“How long has she been in there?”

“All day,” Dorota sighed.

“Okay. I’ll get her out. Would you bring some fresh clothes and maybe some water for her?”

Dorota nodded, “thank you for coming Mr.--thank you Dan.”

He gave her a small smile and proceeded to shove his shoulder against the door. It opened a crack and he pushed his hand through, which opened the door more. Peaking in, Dan saw Blair had moved deeper into the pantry, still in a crumpled position. He wedged himself in and moved out the big ice chest she had somehow got in there. Breathing hard, he put his hands on his knees.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand the depth of your strength,” he teased lightly.

Blair remained, fetal and deflated.

Dan sat on the floor next to her, bracing against the back shelf and gingerly took the Cheetos from Blair, setting them elsewhere.

“I know I introduced you to these, but Dorota’s made some real food. How about we go eat that?”

“Leave me alone, Dan,” Blair whispered, tears escaping her eyes. 

Slumping further onto the floor, Dan looked at his fingers. “I’ve been doing that. Doesn’t seem like it’s going very well.”

“I never asked you to before…”

“I thought it would be best. You were about to ride off into the sunset with Chuck and…”

“I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve anything.”

Dan was now lying on the floor, facing Blair. It was strange to lay on the floor of a pantry like it was a bed, but he would’ve done much worse for her.

“Hey, don’t say that,” slowly, he took her face in his hands, wiping away the fast falling tears with his thumb. “You deserve _the world_ and more.”

She sniffed, her face sinking in his hands like quick sand. “Then why can’t I just be happy?”

“You will be. Soon. I’ll make sure of it.”

Holding her close, his one hand making small circles on her back, the other stroking her hair, Blair buried her face below Dan’s chin, moistening his chest.

“You didn’t visit me…”

“I thought you needed some space. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I’ll annoy you indefinitely.”

Pulling back just a bit so she could wipe her nose, Blair’s mouth turned upwards the slightest bit. “I heard your mom’s getting remarried.”

“Yeah. I hardly got an invitation. It’s almost like I’m her distant cousin rather than her son.”

“That’s not your fault. You know that right?”

“I know. Thanks for reminding me though.”

“We should go to the wedding together.”

“Yeah? You want to go with me?”

“Mmhm. We should go and make a big scene and knock over the cake or something.”

Dan laughed and pressed his forehead against hers. She smelled like the last wisps of dust and fancy laundry detergent that must’ve been stuck to her clothes. 

“I don’t think that’s princess behavior.”

Dan hoped, somewhere deep in his heart, that she would shake her head and declare she wouldn’t be marrying Louis or running off with Chuck. He begged that large entity in the sky, the one she still believed in with so much solidity, that she would say she only wanted him. That she would end this endless tangled web of pining and redemption and betrayal. But she didn’t.

“Right…”

“Come on your worship, this is no place for a princess,” Dan said, standing and outstretching his hand to her.

Blair took it and rose. She crossed her arms. “No matter how sad I am...I will _not_ watch Star Wars. You will not turn me into a nerd Humphrey.”

Dan put an arm around Blair and they walked into the heavenly odor of Dorota’s cooking. 

“No problem.”

They ended up watching all three movies that night. Blair was downright in love with Carrie Fisher. And Dan was downright in love with Blair.


	7. Chapter 7

**May, 2012**

The subway car jostled Blair back and forth in a monotonous, rhythmic hum as it sped back to Brooklyn. Dan was comfortably under her stretched legs, nodding off a bit after spending an entire morning at a society brunch her mother was hosting. His hand wrapped around her thigh like a sort of seatbelt.

The brunch had been beautiful, rose petals being flung everywhere by the end of the event, but the company that inhabited the park was ugly and not so accepting of Dan and his NYU origins. Still, he had swallowed his disgust for the entire day, which Blair appreciated, and there was always time to make fun of the ladies’ billiards club in bed later that night.

Blair poked his cheek with a white-painted fingernail. “Perhaps I should’ve injected those cups up of coffee into your neck.”

Dan’s eyes snapped open and looked over at Blair. Her heart almost stopped. The way he smiled at her and the way his eyes creased into crescent moons made her heart do backflips.

“I may be a little sleepy but that’s the price I pay for white, old, women to tell me…” He attempted his best New York snobbish-lady accent, “Oh Daniel, NYU is for beatniks and hippies! No serious writer has been made there…”

He bowed his head. Blair rolled her eyes and put a soft hand on the neck of her brooding boyfriend. Luckily, he had kept all this angst in for the morning. 

“Well, I agree with the beatniks and hippies thing. I mean have you seen Vanessa? She might as well have used goat cheese as soap.”

“Oh, Blair,” Dan chuckled and pursed his lips. “You want all of my exes to pale in comparison don’t you?”

“They  _ do _ ,” Blair smirked, and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Plenty of great writers have come out of NYU, and you will be one of them. You already have a _ novel  _ published. You’re welcome for the inspiration by the way.”

“Since when are you my cheerleader? May I remind you, that you loathe that novel?” 

“I’m not your cheerleader, I'm your muse, obviously. And I don’t loathe your book I promise. I won’t ever lie to you when it comes to your career, which will be fantastic and full of book parties and literature bimbos.”

“You're the only literature bimbo I want." He pouted. Blair wanted to give him a good smack, but she couldn't help but laugh. "What about other things?”

"What could you possibly mean?"

"I guarantee you're not one-hundred percent honest all the time."

“Well, I’ve let some things slide. Like your hair…”

And just like that, fun Dan was back. He laughed brightly and pulled Blair closer. “You  _ love _ my hair.”

“I  _ tolerate _ it,” Blair giggled as Dan started to place wet kisses across her collarbone. Great, they were one of those gross couples displaying their affections all over subway seats. It was truly great, Blair thought giddily.

He paused for a moment, his nose grazing hers. His dark, hazel eyes glistened.

“I…”

Blair hung off his every word, in a haze and infatuated.

“I...um…” Whatever he was going to say, he abandoned it. “I can’t believe I got you into this train. Greater men than me have tried and failed.”

Hesitating for a moment, Blair shook the feeling of an unfinished sentence, and laughed. She looked around the mostly empty area and nodded.

“Yes, well I suppose I might like you.”

“ _ Me _ ?”

“Just a little bit.”

Dramatically, Dan put his hand to his chest. “Wow, Blair Waldorf likes me. I just thought we were hookin’ up.”

“We’ll see…” Blair rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m still going to need you to cover my eyes again when we go through the platform.”

“I promise you, you won’t see the pizza rat…”

“I’m not taking any chances! You’re lucky you got me down here in the first place!”

“You’re right...stick with me Waldorf. I’ll protect you.”

Blair grinned. “As you should…in the underground at least.”

“Well, duh. You’ve gotta have my back in the surface world…”

“I will.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Present**

Hypnotized by her, Dan watched as Blair did her make up for the rehearsal dinner that they would definitely be late for. His hair was still wet, a towel hung off his waste, and Blair had only just decided to continue her routine after making two cups of coffee. They hadn’t slept all night.

“You do realize that this is hardly coffee anymore right?” he quipped, rubbing another towel over his dripping curls.

Blair continued to methodically apply lipstick and rolled her eyes. “Excuse me for not drinking the elixir of death that you brew for yourself.”

Dan winked and took a sip of his own coffee. She had gotten the formula perfect even if she detested it; no milk, two sugars.

Sitting on the bed, Dan started to get dressed. “I’m an adult. I don’t drink caffeinated milkshakes.”

“Really?” Blair set down the brush in her hand. She took her mug and went over to Dan, settling herself into his lap. He couldn’t get over her hair pinned up in curlers or the red lipstick that graced her face. Even half done up and half dressed, she looked perfect.

She blew the steam away from the cup and handed it to Dan. “Try it, and tell me it is not the most perfect thing you’ve ever had.”

“I’m good, Waldorf,” Dan grumbled wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Drink, you coward.”

Laughing, he gulped down the coffee and let the hot liquid sink into his tongue and down his throat. Okay, maybe she was right. It was amazing. He had always made the frothy sorts of coffee beverages working in his dad’s gallery but he had always refused to try them. He had always been too pretentious for his own good.

Blair grinned, knowing she had won the argument for all eternity. “Happy Dan?”

“Yes, happy Dan,” he said, his eyes glistening. He leaned into her lips, puckering his own. “You want a taste?”

Blair pushed him off gently and giggled. “You are  _ not _ ruining my lipstick again. Now get dressed!”

Dan bowed his head like a hurt dog and began to half-heartedly button up his shirt. 

“We should go back to bed.”

Blair turned from her vanity and pointed her mascara in his direction. “No way mister, we’re already late.”

Rising, Dan came up behind Blair and gently kissed the small hickey he had made at the base of her neck. 

“Worth it.”

“Oh god. I’m definitely wearing my hair down…”

***

The couple were descending the stairs when Blair heard a familiar voice let out a goofy laugh. She furrowed her brow and looked back at Dan who was distracted with setting his watch. He looked up and shared her confusion with more confusion.

“What?”

The familiar voice was joined by another, this one icy and rigid. “Blair?”

Dan’s eyes widened and he immediately understood. “Oh no--”

“Mom!” Blair plastered a smile onto her face and greeted Eleanor and Cyrus.

Eleanor smiled shortly and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “Hello, darling!”

“What a pleasant surprise,” Blair cleared her throat, trying her best not to panic, “I thought you couldn’t make it until tomorrow. Dad’s coming then too.”

“Plans change and I couldn’t very well miss Serena’s rehearsal dinner. The fashion will be breathtaking to be sure.”

“It was cheaper to fly in tonight anyway.” Cyrus finished admiring the house’s high ceilings like he and his wife weren’t flushed with cash.

Nodding, Blair swallowed and glanced back at the stairs. It seemed Dan had slipped away, retreating back to his room perhaps. Saying a small curse to Humphrey, she continued to fake a grin and lead her mother and stepfather to the dining table on the pavilion.

They were lucky to be accompanied with some leftover golden sunshine from the day. As the wedding party and few extra guests mingled outside, waiting for the food to be ready, Blair made her way over to a laughing Serena who was gushing over Rosey’s newest dress. Blair grabbed her friend’s forearm and pulled her aside.

“Ow! Blair,  _ boundaries _ .”

“I know there has been some fundamental miscommunication between us, but this,” Blair jerked her head in the direction of Eleanor and Cyrus. “This is an attack. You are Paul Revere and you have failed at your one job of telling me the British are coming.”

“Remember how we talked about how much you compare our friendship to historical wars?”

“Vaguely. Why?”

“Don’t do it.” Serena smiled, somehow finding all of this funny. “I had no idea they were coming. They just showed up early. What am I supposed to do? Turn them away? Eleanor’s like a distant aunt to me.”

“Exactly, you ended up exiling your last distant aunt.” 

“That’s not how it went down…” Serena mumbled. “Can we put a pin in this? Amahle's parents came back.”

Blair followed her friend’s eyeline and saw a rather stern looking couple standing in the corner intimidating a babbling Nate. They didn’t look like they were necessarily happy to be there, but at least they were participating in drinks and tapas.

“Oh. That’s a good sign!”

“I know! It took like several letters and emails and calls, but I got them to come.”

Blair gripped Serena’s hands “I want to be happy for you, I really do, but I’m internally screaming right now.”

“Still not seeing the issue, B.”

“I’m in this thing with Dan and I don’t want my mother and stepfather who have been increasingly asking for me to get married and make them grandchildren to know about!”

Serena exhaled. “I thought you were going to say it was another princess and the frog thing. At this point I am so tired of that trope.”

“Agreed.” Blair smiled sheepishly at her mother who was probably wondering why she was having a pow wow with Serena. “I just don’t want to explain Dan and I to anyone yet. And I don’t think Dan does either because he basically ran away at the sight of my mother.”

“Did he?”

Once again, Blair turned her attention to where everyone had congregated and saw Dan greeting Eleanor and Cyrus like old friends, handing them drinks and obviously commenting on Cyrus’ loud, colorful tie.

Serena patted Blair’s shoulder and left her alone to decrypt what Dan’s suddenly buoyant and chipper attitude towards her parents could mean. Carefully, she straightened the off-shoulder sleeves of her dress and travelled over to the strange trio.

“Oh, Blair!” Eleanor said, declining from what seemed to be a deep, and genuine laugh; a rare thing for her. “Where did you disappear to?”

“I was just discussing some maid of honor business with Serena,” Blair said, her eyes inching their way towards Dan.

He gave her a coy smile, his drink bouncing in his glass.“This wedding would not be possible without Blair.”

“I don’t doubt that!” Cyrus laughed jollily. “Our Blair is a spitfire of calculated planning.”

Eleanor nodded, tightly smiling. “Well, of course. I raised her right. By the time she was nine she was organizing her own birthday parties. I didn’t have to lift a finger!”

“And you didn’t, mother!”

They all shared a pained, slow chuckle as Blair continued to ask Dan silently if he had divulged any secrets about their recent Tuscan developments.

“Although it’s unexpected, I’m so glad you’re here with us Daniel, I’ve seen some of the work you’ve done in London it’s quite impressive.”

As Blair let out a sigh of relief, Dan smiled sheepishly. He was never one for compliments, not really.

“Thank you. I must say, it’s nothing much in comparison to what Blair’s done for Waldorf Designs. I’m sure you’re very proud.”

Eleanor put a gentle hand on the back of Blair’s shoulder. “Yes. I am.”

“How  _ nice _ of you,” Blair murmured, a little taken aback by the sudden stroke of motherly affection. Her mother had never been a woman known for expressing her feelings, especially not in a way that was grateful or kind. Blair had come to terms with that; that she would just have to be okay with Eleanor being distant but accepting at best, and that she would one day share those same traits. But now, standing there with Dan looking at her like she was the last golden, chocolate macaron on Earth, and Eleanor beaming approvingly, maybe things did not have to be so sharply boxed in and rigid.

Blair’s thoughts were interrupted by a slew of chefs emerging from the kitchen with plates filled to the brim with food.

“Dinner is served!” Serena declared, leading her fiancé to the table.

***

Although he had been able to uphold his cool exterior in front of his girlfriend’s...no she wasn’t exactly his girlfriend. Wedding date? Casual hookup? Fuck buddy? They had never discussed labels or anything even close to resembling serious relationship topics, and he couldn’t very well greet her parents as the guy who had dedicated himself to being her hot summer fling. What was he supposed to do? Say, “hello Eleanor, after years apart, your daughter and I are having sex again.” No, that was insane…

A stern, calm hand landed on his knee. Dan unclenched his fist that held the napkin in his lap and looked up to Blair with the corners of her mouth turned upward. She was definitely laughing at him, but still, her warm hand had stopped his anxious, shaking leg. And for that, he wanted to kiss her square on the mouth.

In the midst of the dinner chatter they had their own small, quiet conversation, savoring the small bubble of privacy created by being in a crowd.

“You hung me out to dry back there, Humphrey.”

“I think I was perfectly charismatic and adequate back there, Waldorf.”

“Then what would you call your little get away back up the stairs? I could’ve very well told them you were running off because of an accident.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Blair chuckled, and lifted her wine glass to her lips. “Oh, I  _ would _ .”

“Right. Almost forgot who I was talking to…”

“Mmhm…”

“...The queen of bathroom humor.”

Blair gasped, and nudged him on the shoulder. “Take that back right now.”

“No way,” he felt the nervousness in his body melt away. “I’m sorry. I panicked. I guess I just wanted a little more time out of reality.”

“Me too.” Blair admitted to his surprise.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. This has been  _ fun _ , and romantic, and like the kitschy, teenage dream we never got. Of course I wouldn't want to add my parents to the mix.”

Dan tried to let the biggest grin on earth spread across his face, but his efforts were defeated.

“I knew you would let that get to your head.”

“I have a huge ego, you knew what that would do.”

Blair shook her head and giggled. Then she exhaled. “We deserve just a bit more time in our strange, euphoric private tornado. Don’t you think?”

Dan, still trying his best not to whisk her away right there and then, smiled and squeezed her hand under the table.

“We don’t have to tell anyone a thing.”

“Thank you.”

“So,” Eleanor smiled lightly and set down her fork. “How long have you two been back together?”

All around, the table’s chatter quieted and everyone turned their attention to Dan and Blair. Dan felt his face flush red as Blair let go of his hand and reached for her wine glass.

Rufus laughed as Lily’s mouth hung open. “A week or two now I think. They’re only about half-okay at hiding it.”

“Daniel, how could you?! What about Mei?”

Jenny chuckled as Eric shielded his eyes from second hand embarrassment. “Seriously, Dan? You haven’t told  _ mom _ ?”

“Who are these people?” Dan heard Amahle’s father ask cooly.

“Sir, I’m Daniel Humphrey your soon to be daughter in law’s stepbrother.”

“Lord have mercy…so complicated.” Amahle’s mother muttered.

Lily scoffed. “Well that’s the Van der Humphreys for you!”

“What is a Van der Humphrey…?”

Blair wiped her mouth, Dan thought she sort of looked like she had been shocked by an electrical socket. “A Van der Humphrey is a fun mix of this beautiful blended families’ names your daughter’s about to marry into, my name is Blair Waldorf and I’m Serena’s somewhat estranged best friend, over there is Nate her other best friend, his daughter and her mother, and we are a very odd, complicated bunch but we also love each other very much. I would do anything for these people... even Jenny. And Amahle is more than lucky to be a part of our family now.”

Dan beamed over at Blair a little speechless, as Serena grinned and raised her glass. “To family.”

Amahle’s parents, the focal point of the evening, seemed to soften, and patted their daughter’s shoulder, raising their glasses. “As long as you're happy my love.”

Amahle, too close to tears, just hugged her mother and kissed her father’s cheek. The table returned to the light and hardy dinner it had been having.

“Wait--” Odessa looked up from her plate and pointy two fingers at Dan and Blair. “You two are sleeping together?”

“Ugh…” Jenny sat back in her chair. “I’m  _ eating _ .”

Dan wanted to die a little bit and Blair’s eyes looked like they were permanently fixed in a wide, cagey position.

“Well, good for you, dear.” Eleanor said, raising her eyebrows.

“What…?” Blair managed.

“I never did agree with that choice you made all those years ago. Chuck was so...juvenile.”

Gulping down his drink Dan laughed. “Cheers to that!”

Half of the table gave up murmurs of agreement.

Blair kicked his shin under the table. “Well, great mother.”

“You were always going to make your own decisions. Thank God they’re the right ones now.”

“I’m going to get back to my high spirits, but just know, I’m infuriated with you.”

Dan reclaimed Blair’s hand and squeezed it once more. She gave him a small smile.

***

Dinner continued without any more large revelations, and when everyone was stuffed well enough, some retired to bed and others remained on the pavilion for desserts and cocktails and to watch the sun set. After an entire afternoon of stiff conversation and acting the part of the perfect maid of honor, Blair just wanted to kick off her heels and jump in bed with Dan. But, trapped in a slow conversation with Cyrus and Rufus, she feared that wasn’t possible.

“Everyone thinks Thailand is where the excitement is, but really, it’s Indonesia you have to visit,” Cyrus gush, a bit of scotch escaping his glass.

“That’s a novel idea. With all the birds out of the nest Lily and I are always up for an adventure, at least if she can help not dragging me to another society thing. Did you know they do a debutante ball every year?”

Blair was about to nod off when she felt a sturdy hand on the small of her back. It was Dan equipped with polite smiles and his kind, beautiful eyes. “Gentlemen, may I steal Blair away? Serena needs help with something inside.”

“A maid of honor’s duties are never over,” Cyrus laughed, giving Blair a short hug. “We’ll see you tomorrow kiddo.”

“Okay, tell mom not to wear the yellow dress, it makes her look like Big Bird.” 

Dan led her away to the front of the house until they were on the stone porch where they had shared their first kiss in five years.

Blair stopped walking and pulled Dan towards her. “What’s the issue? What does Serena need help with?”

“No issue,” Dan bit his lip playfully, “I just wanted to steal you away. Come on.”

They ended up somewhere by a grassy meadow, something Dan had found when he had abandoned Blair after their taxi fight. It was right near a lake, and they had a perfect view of the setting sun that swirled the sky into shades of peach and pink and the deep, green hills.

Settling on a dock at the lake’s edge, Blair rested her head on Dan’s shoulder as he drew circles with his thumb in the palm of her hand.

“That afternoon could’ve gone better,” Dan laughed into the summer breeze.

Blair lifted her head and shook it. “The understatement of the year, ladies and gentlemen. That was a full blown, astronomical disaster.”

Cupping her cheek in his hand, Dan planted a kiss on Blair’s forehead. “Well, what do you expect. It’s us. Whack hi-jinks and awkward dinners were bound to ensue.”

“Mm,” Blair sang, swinging her legs over the water. “Truer words haven’t been spoken.”

“I’m sure this isn’t helpful, but I wouldn’t want to have gone through that with anyone else.”

“Well, of course, I’m fantastic.” Blair grinned as Dan buried his head in her hair and laughed. “But, in all seriousness, I might be glad that you’re here.”

“I expected there would be good food, that's all.” He shrugged, obviously trying to mimic Blair’s own non-chalantness.

“Not much of that in London is there?” Blair did her best to recreate one of the old, Italian women’s accents. “You’ve become too skinny Daniel!”

“Oh, God...if I hear that one more time…” Dan tickled Blair's stomach until she was laughing to the point of tears and they were laying down on the dock.

“I take it back!” Blair squealed. Dan stopped and stared at her face for a moment. She reached up and ran her fingers gently over the stubble on his face and the long lashes that curtained his eyes.

“You’re quite beautiful.”

He furrowed his dark brows and smirked. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“I do,” Blair whispered, licking her lips and resting her hands on his neck.

“I might cry. I always assumed you thought I was a mongrel.”

Blair shrugged cheekily. “I have a soft spot for mongrels.”

Helping her to sit up, Dan laughed and they continued to admire the sunset. They were quiet for a moment.

“Are you still mad at Eleanor?’

“No, I don’t think I have a right to be,” Blair casted her eyes downward, staring into the red fabric of her dress. “I just wish everyone had been more honest with me. I wasted so much time.”

“You’ve got to forgive yourself. You moved on in your own way, that's all that matters.”

“That’s rich coming from the person who moved across the world in anger.”

“Hey, that was for personal reasons…”Dan laughed and sighed, nudging Blair’s shoulder. “It didn’t really work anyway.”

“It didn’t?”

“No. I probably dreamt about you every night my first year in London. I still do sometimes.”

“Are they particularly sex-driven?”

“You’ve got a one track mind! I’m more than a pretty face and a cute ass, Waldorf.”

“Just answer the question Humphrey.”

“They weren’t steamy, no. The dreams were weirdly normal. Whenever I read a book or heard a song that reminded me of you I would go to sleep and see you walking down the street or we would be holding hands in Central Park, or I would turn in bed and see you by my side.”

“And then you would wake up.”

“...and then I would wake up.” Dan said, a sliver of sadness in his tone. 

“Well, my dreams about you weren’t so tame. I kept seeing you as Paul Varjack--”

“From Breakfast at Tiffany’s? Please, I would be Holly.”

“Shut up…” Blair smiled, “Or we would be dancing underneath the stars in the sky or splashing around in a pool full of diamonds. Ridiculous dreams like that.”

“Yeah…” Dan seemed wistful, like some part of him wanted to create all those things for her. “I’m a little afraid this is all a dream, and I’ll wake up in foggy London alone...without you.”

Blair leaned over to Dan and kissed him hard on the mouth, her tongue swirling around his as his hand traveled up her back.

“It isn’t a dream. It’s real.”

Dan grinned and pressed his forehead into Blair’s.

“It sure is.”

***

Rufus, Lily, Eleanor, and Cyrus sat by the pool as the adults they still liked to call “kids” turned in for the night and cleaned up around the house. 

Lily, with her head resting on Rufus’ shoulder, swirled around her martini and saw out of the corner of her eye Blair and Dan sneaking in through the front door and running upstairs.

“What a turn of events,” she sighed. “I must say, it’s nice to see them back together.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Eleanor agreed. “She was always so giddy when she was with him. She sang _all the time_.”

“Dan did the same thing,” Rufus chuckled.

“I must admit, out of all the entanglements that occurred, I never expected them.”

“Oh, come on Lil,” Rufus said, smiling. “It was only a matter of time.”

Cyrus’ shoulders shook as he laughed. “They make quite the pair.”

“And they’re practically made from the same mold. It was my fault for raising her to value high society too much, although her father should take some of the blame for that.”

Lily looked on at what seemed to be younger versions of Rufus and herself; complete opposites and yet totally in sync. “You think they’ll last?

“We did.”

“And stranger things have happened.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Present**

Dan and Blair stood against a nearby column watching the splendor of the wedding play out. People were getting increasingly drunk and happy, and being who they were, the couple couldn’t help but laugh at their friends and family and judge them just the tiniest bit for their wild antics when intoxicated.

Blair left her position and set her champagne glass down, going to adjust Dan’s tie. He grinned down at her and gave her the “I want you now” eyes, but before they could do anything about that a shadowy figure slinked towards them. Clad in a dress Dan heard Blair describe as “magenta vomit” Georgina Sparks licked her teeth and removed her unnecessary sunglasses. The sun was already setting.

“You two…?” She looked them up and down. 

Dan felt Blair pull him closer like she wanted to act as his shield. It weirdly inspired butterflies just at the base of his stomach.

“Hi, Georgina,” Dan offered, waving a meek hand. “Good to see you.” It posed more a question than a statement.

“I’m sure it isn’t good, but it must be interesting. This wedding is amongst one of the most boring I’ve been to in my life.”

“Why?” Blair muttered. “Because there are no incestuous pieces of scandals to be seen?”

Georgina sustained her smirk. “You said it. Not me. However, our very own Dan and Blair being together is quite spicy. Haven’t we been through this merry-go-round a few times? Or has your friend group decided to alternate between partners sporadically?”

“We’re happy.” Blair declared. Dan smiled at her. It was true. They were really happy.

“Hm. Well, I suppose it isn’t the most original route, but it does make a lot more sense than you ending up with brooding, mumbles McGee, over there.” Georgina fluttered her fingers towards Chuck and Raina. They gave back a perplexed nod.

Dan shook his head, and sipped some champagne. “You think we make sense?”

“Who doesn’t love the princess and the pauper trope? And mixed with the classic Philadelphia Story dynamic? It’s to  _ die _ for.” Georgina stepped closer. “Would you mind if I took a shot at Chuck? His hairline won’t hold up forever and I haven’t had him yet.”

Blair furrowed her eyebrows and Dan nearly laughed himself to death. “He’s with Raina I think.”

Georgina shrugged. “For now.”

“Go for it, Georgina.”

“Thank you! Ta, ta for now, and if you two get married  _ please _ send an invitation. I’m tired of being a wedding crasher.”

The woman strode off to go harass another pair. Dan and Blair’s mouths hung agape. Then, Blair burst out laughing, and giggled, swatting at Dan as she did so.

“What?”

“I just remembered,” she tucked a finger under her nose to keep from snorting. “You almost raised her child! Ha, ha!”

“Alright…that was a dark time okay?” Dan rolled his eyes, biting his lip to stop her satisfaction from him laughing along. “That’s enough champagne for you.”

“Ha, ha...another thing to make fun of you for! Where is Milo by the way--?”

“Eh, don’t think about it too much.”

Suddenly, glasses began to clink and clatter. It was time for toasts.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternative ending to the flashback that occurs in the chapter “Long Story Short”, which ends the entire series. Although I kind of love what I wrote here (because I’m a ridiculous person and I genuinely believe this is something close to how these characters should’ve met) I deemed it too weird, and too nonsensical, and not very “Gossip Girl”. However, people seem to like these “deleted scenes” so I thought it best to include it. I’m so sorry if you hate it, but thank you for reading anyway! It means the world to me:)

**September, 2006**

Dan edged his way around the outskirts of the party and tried not to laugh out loud at the babies of the rich and elite partying like they had lived full lives and were celebrating a rise in hedge funds. He hadn’t even begun to fully understand Wall Street.

However awkward he felt being at this party full of popular kids he had been accidentally invited to, he couldn’t help but feel slightly above it all, especially given how morbidly drunk everyone was. At one point, a kid had thrown up in a vase made even uglier by his vomit, and the latest occurrence had been a girl draping herself across Dan as he tried to make his way through the living room/dance floor. She declared that he was her dancing partner, probably mistaking him for someone else just like everyone had been doing, and starting grinding on him to the point where Dan wasn’t sure whether to cry or participate. It certainly wasn’t terrible, it was just sort of off. Everything about the night seemed off and like a fever dream.

The only thing that was keeping him there in the stuffy cuffs of the wealthy and privileged, was a single angel who had floated halfway down the set of spiral stairs he had found himself in front of. He had never seen her before, having only been at St. Jude’s for a spell of time, but he wanted to see her more. Sure, she was a part of the fever dream just as everyone else was. She was just a fantasy right now, too unreal to not be noticed, but Dan knew he was hooked and just had to know more. So he stayed, for as long as he could, searching for the blonde girl with the bright smile and trying to ignore how much he loathed where he had found her.

Somewhere in his now seemingly empty journey, he happened upon a home office with an extensive library of old, first and second edition books. It definitely looked like something from Dan’s mahogany writer’s dreams and he couldn’t resist running along the rough spines lining the wall.

“Someone’s in here!” A sleepy, but sharp voice said from the fainting couch in the corner. From behind it, a delicate, bony hand popped up and pulled up a girl dressed all in red. Literally. Her lace dress was red as well as her big headband, hair, and glossy lips. It was like she was trying to look like the very depth of a stop light. It was blinding. And Dan felt he had to squint to see her.

“S-sorry.”

She sauntered over to him, obviously drunk, but obviously equipped to handle it, and looked him up and down.

“Who are you? I don’t know you.” She put her lips clumsily around the straw that swam in her cup of liquor and bubbles.

“Um,” Dan stammered, “I’m D--”

Suddenly, from beyond the doors of the office, some yelled gruffly, “Where is he?! Where’s that Reggie kid? I’m gonna kill him for making a move on Stacey.”

Rolling his eyes at the downright stupid 80s/John Hughes nature of the entire night, Dan remembered that half of the people at the party were referring to him as Reggie, and apparently some guy wanted to murder him. Footsteps pounded down the hallway and Dan’s heart lept as he ducked away into the next room, pulling the girl along with him.

In the dark, he could hardly see anything, except a faint glow coming from the city lights outside. The girl mutely giggled and he found himself pressed close to her, smelling the alcohol on her breath and the Chanel #5 on her neck, the bit of vanilla in her hair.

Where were they? A closet? A crawl space? Dan searched for the light switch, and when he finally found it, he switched it on. They were in the bathroom, only occupying a few inches of the quite large space.

The girl stumbled back, and furrowed her brow like she was coming to some conclusion.

“How did I get in here?!”

Dan, with his ear still pressed to the door to make sure the jocks from hell had passed, cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry about this. It’s a long story but basically some guy wants to kill me because he thinks I made a move on his girlfriend. Which, by the way, I would never do. I’m a generally good guy.”

“Everyone thinks that,” she sighed, “But then they come here to the pinnacle of glitz, glamor, and shit.” She gasped and covered her mouth. “Don’t tell anyone I said that! I’m supposed to love it here.”

Dan chuckled. “Don’t worry I don’t really have anyone to tell.”

“May I go now?” she asked, squirming slightly.

“Yeah, it should be--” Dan was interrupted by the rageful sound of a slammed door. “Maybe let’s wait it out.”

She pouted, swaying a bit. “You think they’ll kill me too?”

“Are you from Brooklyn?”

“Ew. No.”

“Do you live above the poverty line and go to a prestigious private school?”

“Yes,” she nodded, narrowing her eyes like she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not.

“Then you’re free to go miss.” 

Twisting the knob, with every intention to open it for the girl, Dan was horrified when the locked thing came off in his hand.

“I--”

“Oh my god, you idiot!”

“This is an ancient building! It’s not my fault things aren’t up to code.”

“What are you? City hall? Just fix it!”

Dan tried to jam the door knob in, failing as the girl danced around behind him.

“Are you okay?” He exhaled, ceasing his efforts for a moment.

“To be delicate, I’ve had a lot of drinks.”

“Yeah. I can tell.”

“Okay, jackass, to be less delicate, I have to piss.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Dan licked his lips and knelt before the door knob, trying harder than ever to rejoin it to it’s rightful place. His hand slipped and his palm scraped against a loose nail poking out from the poorly made structure. He was reminded then that he had a few drinks in his system too. For his anxiety, of course.

“My life has once again gotten worse.”

Dan rose and took a tissue, pressing it to his palm. “Join the club.”

“Go out the window,” the girl suddenly exclaimed, pointing to the square in the wall that couldn’t possibly be big enough for anyone Dan’s size. Still he made his way over to it and peered out. Below was no fire escape or stray window washer. It just led forty stories down to hard, concrete pavement.

“That would be suicide.”,

The girl was tapping furiously into her boxy flip phone, holding it up to the light and shaking it to and fro. “I am going to actually commit sucide if I pee myself. And...my phone is dead.”

“Should we start screaming?”

“And explain what we’re doing here together? I have a boyfriend, thank you very much.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Like that ape out there is understanding?”

She had a point. “Well…” he shifted his eyes to the porcelain toilet next to the sink.

“No way, whatever your name is. You’re  _ in here _ .”

“I’m not too excited about this either, but I rather you get urine in the place it should be and not the floor or...my shoes.”

The girl laughed incredulously, still performing the jig that was probably hurting more than helping, and shook her head. “I hate this.”

“Me too…” Dan hated a lot of things about life at that moment.

“Turn around,” she said finally, tossing a roll of toilet paper towards him. “And clog your ears with that.”

“Sure thing.” Dan faced a corner of the wall and stuffed his ears the best he could as the girl tended to her business. When was done, she tapped his shoulder.

“You didn’t hear any of that did you?”

“Yes. Your pee stream is very strong.”

The girl’s eyes widened and she started to beat him with the towel in her hand.

Not being able to help himself from laughing, Dan defended himself trying to say, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I have a bad sense of humor.”

“Well we can agree on that,” she snarled and jumped on the sink counter.

“Sorry,” Dan mumbled.

The girl, seeming to be ramping up to sober, looked at her fingers that were softly placed in her lap. In the warm light of the bathroom, and with the booze in his stomach, her pale legs looked fuzzy and a halo of light surrounded her red hue.

“I was actually having a decent night.”

“Yeah me too. I thought it was going to be special. I saw this girl…”

“No, no” she interrupted, leaning against the mirror. “There is nothing special about this night, nor is there going to be anything special.”

“Really?”

“Please, it’s just some highschool party, not even properly decorated or themed I might add, with too much alcohol and not enough remarkable fashion. This night, like so many others, isn’t noteworthy and will not put a dent in my memory. It won’t be yours either. This party is just utterly forgettable.”

Dan couldn’t tell if it was the drinks that had made her so skeptical and cynical, although he sort of shared her feelings he still had that glimmer of childish hope that everyday and night would be significant, would be a match to light several fires over several years. But that hardly made sense and the girl in front of him seemed slightly more sane and mature than he was.

“So what does a night that engraves itself into your memory look like?”

“Hm,” she hummed, swinging her feet, thinking. “I would wander into a party with twinkly lights, and diamonds flowing from champagne glasses, and girls dressed in immaculate gowns. Something out of the Great Gatsby.”

“I love that book.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s unfortunate that Fitzgerald is an anti-semetic, racist son of a bitch. Otherwise it would be my favorite.”

“You’ll be glad to know his wife Zelda actually wrote most of it.”

The girl laughed loudly. “Really?”

“Yeah I read about it somewhere. Apparently, Fitz checked her into a mental hospital and stole all her ideas from her journal.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“I thought you said this night is ‘utterly forgettable’.”

“I say lots of things I don’t mean.”

Dan chuckled knowingly and sat down on the floor. “So what is it about that book? Do you want a relationship like Daisy and Gatsby? Empty gestures and unfair deals?”

“No,” she shrugged, “I want to be in the background of it all. I just want to be one of the guests at the party for once not the host or host’s love interest. I have this feeling the best love stories, the most epic, are ones we don’t see right in front of us.”

“Yeah, they branch off of other stories and into other universes, which makes them far more complicated and grand than anything that came before it.”

The girl looked at him with surprise, like she hadn’t expected him to understand her short ramblings. “Exactly.”

They shared each other’s gaze for a moment, not thinking much of it, when the girl descended from the counter and reached into the sink cabinet. She pulled forth a first aid kit and began to bandage Dan’s hand carefully.

“I rather you didn't get infected just in case we’re in here for a while.”

“T-thanks…” Dan couldn’t help but cast his eyes away. For some reason and a moment in time, the girl was right, he did forget the night. He forgot about the blonde entity that had perched herself atop the stairs, and the Neanderthal chasing him, and all the social quirks and anxieties that come with parties. He just remembered what was in front of him, a girl in a red dress cleaning the cut on his hand.

When someone, the girl’s boyfriend maybe, came to save them, he almost didn’t want to be saved. How could he be saved from someone, something greater than he knew, that he wanted to stay with so badly?

Her last words were laced with more alcohol and exhaustion, dripping from her mouth like honey.

“Bye, Reggie.”

***

“Bye girl in the red dress.”

Before Blair could get the last word in, she was being pulled away by Nate, already anxious that he wouldn’t get home on time for curfew, and terribly mad at Blair for spending a majority of the “party of the century” stuck in a bathroom.

As the cab drove off, Blair felt herself get sad even though Nate was nestled against her chest, and she wasn’t sure why. Nevertheless, a small part of her hoped she would see the boy with the buzzed haircut and vast opinions about books and films. She wanted to see him again more than anything. Even if that meant hurting, just a bit.


End file.
